The Last Virgin

Mon, 28 Dec 2009 07:38:36 GMT

Building my own pine forest.

Overlooking the most blatant things

Thu, 26 Nov 2009 08:17:01 GMT

I tripped over shards of your memory that I neglectfully forgot to put away.

My heart is gold so what will you give me for it?

Thu, 24 Sep 2009 09:11:07 GMT

With an effortless ring of my mostly disused phone you thrashed yourself abruptly back into my life. More often than not life seems to play out in a way that was predetermined to provide the most entertainment to the onlookers. Isn’t it odd that I hadn’t seen her for almost a year and just a couple of days before your call I had spent the weekend with her? Which of course got me to thinking about you, as it always does.

I remember wondering what it would have been like if we could have reached our full potential. Being that our efforts to enjoy each other were continually thwarted by the energies of a jealous girl trapped in unrequited love. That fateful day when she learned that our entanglements had moved from innocent to unforgivably scandalous was also the day that I would no longer knowingly put myself in situations around you. The borders I inflicted on our relationship were retribution as well as sheltering myself from future desire.

This had all happened long ago and I did not know how to respond to your present invitation to dinner. This friend that I had previously ended our relationship for wasn’t much of a friend anymore, but I still felt any meeting with you would be wrapped in guilt. You attempted to change my mind, explaining to me that our lives had changed from what they had been. Friendships had been distorted or completely obliterated and our current locations gave us anonymity, which we previously did not have the luxury to enjoy. Your rhetoric failed to compel me to dinner that night, but I promised you I would mull it over and a future meeting might be possible.

What I wanted was a guarantee. I wanted you to tell me that we could have a relationship, while maintaining a relationship with her. I wanted you to tell me that we would be worth it. I wanted to know that it wasn’t morally wrong. But you can’t give me that, can you?

It was cool, except for all the bad stuff that happened

Tue, 11 Aug 2009 19:32:08 GMT

It's much easier to like someone than to hate them, but some people make it impossible to like them.

Get in the car and GO!

Sat, 11 Jul 2009 04:02:19 GMT

I'm currently on a cross country roadtrip. Everyone I've told is always so amazed that I'm doing it, actually doing it. Most people categorize it as one of those things you sit around and talk about, but never actually do. It seems like it should be hard, but it's actually rather easy. Maybe all those things you don't do because they seem scary or seem like too big of a hassle really aren't that difficult at all.

Let's focus on the negatives

Fri, 22 May 2009 02:40:10 GMT

"But if you're going to have an affair-not with my best friend, in my four poster bed, and they definitely didn't have to finish off my pistachio nuts."

What I hope to be.

Thu, 19 Feb 2009 08:40:34 GMT

Hubris-arrogant pride inviting nemesis

Information gladly given but safety requires avoiding unnecessary conversation.

Tue, 02 Sep 2008 08:37:19 GMT

When I was satisfied I turned on my side to signify that the time for sleep was upon us. You laid your hand upon my side and started to pull me closer to cuddle, as if there was another reason you were in my bed other than purely physical pleasure. Without hesitation I grabbed your hand, flung it off and told you to stay on your side of the bed. A nice ending to a nice night.

I must be drunk because I'm still having fun

Sun, 31 Aug 2008 03:24:52 GMT

For two hours I pushed you away from me, turned my head and blatantly said, "no." Then I quite literally bumped into you in the dark hallway. I timidly apologized, but your only response was to grab me and push me against the wall. Swiftly your brash lips dove upon my conscientious ones. Unapologetically you kissed me and that's all it took to erase all the guilt and kiss you back.

I'm extremely fucked up, please don't take me seriously.

Thu, 14 Aug 2008 09:25:16 GMT

With every year the line between right and wrong gets a little more blurry...or I've just had too many drinks to make it seem that way.

Synopsis: it's awesome

Mon, 21 Jul 2008 02:57:12 GMT

I will always hold you back...

Thu, 03 Jul 2008 03:34:33 GMT

Today is Kelly's birthday! I am quite upset that I am not with her today. How lame. Kels I hope you're having a good day!

How Kev and I learned about osteoblasts and osteoclasts

Sun, 22 Jun 2008 06:14:07 GMT

"You have nice osteoblasts baby, what's your name?"

"I want to make and destroy your bone, baby."

I'm cleaning out my desk and I found a bunch of quotes from my last family vacation.

Tue, 17 Jun 2008 21:09:17 GMT

"I need a guarantee- I need to know that a Twix is waiting for me"

"Zip off pants suck-make a decision already!"

"After I have my tea you can massage me"

"Why do I a: think its funny and b: am proud?"

"I want you to know that I held in a fart for you"

"I'm not going to have sex with someone the first time I hang out with them so I gave him a hand job"

"Your Dad is drinking a gin and tonic which means there's nooooo beer left on the ENTIRE boat"

The best part is you can hear Chelsea in the background laughing

Thu, 08 May 2008 20:56:12 GMT

Attempting to study I grudgingly make my way to the library. Upon arriving I find a friend working at the desk, already my plan to study has be thwarted. A boy wearing a shirt which reads, "Asexuals party hardest," comes up to check out a book. Upon noticing his shirt I promptly compliment him on it, to which he replies, "its really good to pick up chicks!"

AHHAHHAHHAHHAHHAA!!!!

Sorry i punched you in the mouth and made it bleed; hey at least i didn't break your nose!

Tue, 08 Apr 2008 07:29:56 GMT

Text messaging conversation:

Me: Just went to Taco Bell and got hella milds...one of the employees was looking at me hella suspiciously.

T: Good work. Report home with the packages at 1900 hours agent Chels.

I cannot be held accountable for anything I said last night

Thu, 03 Apr 2008 02:31:00 GMT

There were Sharks players at the hut last night! What the fuck were they doing there?!?

Excerpt from a conversation in a loud bar:
Guy: "What's your name?"
Me: "Chelsea."
Guy: "Jealousy?"
Me: "Yeah call me that."

The system we use to register was not letting me add an art class and it was really annoying. So I went to class and explained that to the teacher, who told me to go to the head of the art department and attempt to get it fixed. I make my way up to his office and there are four people in there and I explain to all of them my woes while pulling off the top layers of my clothes (I was really hot). So I'm pulling off my blazer, then my sweater, then my scarf and the secretary exclaims, "you do not look like you're from the business school." Kelly (the head) asks me the name of my teacher, but I can't remember because it's a long name I've never seen before. So he asks me to describe him. Worriedly I look up into his eyes and proclaim, "the only thing I can think to say is that he is really cute." The whole room starts laughing and say in conjunction, "it's Ben." I ask Kelly to please refrain from telling Ben my description of him, but for some reason I think he might find out...The moral of the story is-who the fuck cares I got into the class.

Mon, 24 Mar 2008 07:20:20 GMT

5. Dinner

Now its a TRUE success, Catherine!

It's America dude, learn the rules

Sun, 23 Mar 2008 08:40:28 GMT

So this guy called me today that lives in Santa Cruz. He told me that he was coming to Santa Clara and would probably go out and he would like me to come along. I told him that I had loose plans with a friend so I didn't know if I could go. He told me he would call me in a few hours to see if I was free.

A few hours passed and he texted me, "So I totally lied, I'm just not down to drink tonight."

Then at 1:30 he pounds on my door, most likely drunk. I didn't answer the door, I don't need to deal with ANOTHER drunk guy.

Boys say a lot of things and do a lot of things, but they rarely match up, mostly when alcohol is involved.

Sun, 16 Mar 2008 19:31:55 GMT

4. He called me today.

You're a pleasant distraction

Sun, 16 Mar 2008 10:36:48 GMT

Why I've decided that hooking up with Hot Italian Guy might actually happen:
1. He wrote me this message

For those of you that have not developed the important skill of reading backwards it reads, "I WILL MISS U VERY VERY MUCH!"
2. He wrote me a note with his number.

3. He texted my friend asking for my number.

Oh it's on!

I feel like something extremely sexy is about to happen

Fri, 14 Mar 2008 06:37:25 GMT

I fell in love with some many people today.

Attempt to have as many good days as you can

Wed, 12 Mar 2008 08:34:31 GMT

I woke up about one this Saturday to a call from Aimee. When she mentioned Kelly I remembered that if I didn't go to Tahoe I wanted to FINALLY see Kel in Davis before it's too late. I called Kelly and she agreed that it would be a good idea for us to get together in the town of cows. On my way to the gym I ran into Kevin and I told him I was going to Davis. He sexily attempted to change my mind and hang out instead with him, but I held to my plan and fled to Kelly. How long can I NOT hookup with him? My morals and ethics are wasting away.
I made my way up to Davis arriving long after I expected. We immediately went to Thai and found ourselves face to face with our waiter who is half Shaun and half Jeff Goldblum. On our return to Kel's I sank into the most/only comfortable futon known to man and settled into watching Star Wars (the new version). Eventually we decided to go to a party. Kelly and Emily (her roommate) expected it not to be much fun so we only planned on being there for a short while, yet they did not know that you can bring the fun to parties and they were bringing me. We walked in, grabbed ourselves some drinks, then I asked some random to get me a deck of cards. Soon enough we had a train of intense drinking games happening and I think Kel and Emily may have had and okay time (even when they weren't smoking). Then everyone started talking about this major party of Fifth and E (say it in a frat dude voice). In due time we arrived at this party and then promptly left, I guess there was just too much build up. By this time we had lost Emily, but Chris (reincarnation of Pete, no not that Pete) had attached himself to Kelly and I. Chris called his friend to pick us up and we went back to his place. We played a game of strip foosball (every game turns into a stripping game when I get drunk enough) and watched Talladega Nights. At some point I passed out and Kel started getting molested by one of Chris' roommates, so she called Emily to pick her up and LEFT me there!
I woke up at 6:47 wondering where the fuck Kelly was, Chris didn't know either. So we sighed, fooled around, and passed out together on a love seat (I suggested sleeping apart, but Chris said we had to stay together for warmth). You may be wondering why we weren't in his bed, I wondered that too, outloud. Apparently Chris was in-between houses and had just been staying at his friends house for a bit. That's right I hooked up with a squatter!
With a dead arm and a sore neck I awoke to Chris' face plastered on mine. Gracefully I flipped off the couch landing on all fours. Realizing that all I had was $7 in my back pocket I started to worry a bit. Kel and I had talked about how I didn't need a cell phone because we would be together the whole night, I should have known. I made my way to the bathroom to finally pee (they didn't have toilet paper in it the night before) and what I got was the reflection of the worst sex hair ever. I relieved myself, washed off the smeared mascara, and pulled my hair back. Emerging from the bathroom a little more put together I asked Chris for a ride to Kel's hoping that I could direct him around this new (to me) land.
I got to Kel's okay, finding that she had been on top of her shit, with both of our cell phones lying next to her waiting for my frantic call. Since I had been ridiculous I asked her if I could take her to lunch. We went to a brewery and what did we find but the hybrid of Shaun and Jeff Goldblum from the night before. Of course I started freaking out. He sat us at like a ten person table so we would be in his section and that was just the start of the ridiculousness. An intense amount of flirting and winking, from him I can't wink it just looks like awkward blinking when I do it, took place for three hours. I asked him if I could take his picture to send to Shaun and he agreed (Shaun is totally creeped out by the way).

I have a golf lesson tomorrow and freakin' Jon is going to be there, what an ass. Kev and I were supposed to go to the range and now its Kev and Jon. I told Kev that if Jon gets him for golfing I should get him for lunch. Kevin is upset by how much this is affecting him, but refuses to make a calendar of how to share him.

Ugh and Mom was asking about Jon today...

I'm going to casually stop including you in my life

Fri, 07 Mar 2008 01:18:38 GMT

Further evidence that Chelsea is an asshole:
So last night after dinner with Gard I call up Alan to see if he wanted to watch a movie. He said that he was busy tonight, but would call me soon to do it another day. Later on in the night I received a text from Alan stating, "Where are you. I miss you already." I thought that this was quite a change of heart from earlier in the evening. Alan came over and I asked him if he finished his project early. To which he replied, "what project." I figured he was just hopped up on some drugs, so I explained our conversation mere hours prior to him. To which he said, " I don't know who you called but it wasn't me." So I handed him my phone so he could check the call log and what did he find-I had accidentally called Adam instead of Alan. Now let me explain to you who Adam is. Adam is a guy I made out with once freshman year (originally I didn't remember it even happening) and we haven't talked since, we see each other around but generally just ignore each other. Yet yesterday both Adam and I were working in the lab on projects right next to each other and four times he had to physically acknowledge me and move out of my way. So it was like SO much worse than it could have been because he was probably thinking, "Oh Chelsea just saw me today and after three years she's calling me up again." So it was weird, but I thought it was over until I got a text from Adam this morning stating, "Hey I'm sorry for sounding like I was blowing you off last night. I have been stressed with so much work before the end of the quarter and haven't had free time." To which I thought, "I don't give a shit I didn't mean to call you." So I text Alan asking him what I should do to which he replies, "O crap well tell him that you are actually busy for the quarter and that you will text him after spring break and then never do." I thought that might be EVIL so I wrote, "Last night I thought I was calling a different Adam and I didn't realize that I had contacted the wrong guy until he told me that wasn't his number I'm so sorry about the confusion." To which he replied, "Haha no worries. I was kinda surprised..."

It could have ended up worse and a lot more awkward.

Confusing story, huh? It was confusing in real time too.

WHY DOES THIS SHIT HAPPEN TO ME!?!

This is what I produced half asleep this morning.

Finding out we're way cooler than everyone else

Wed, 05 Mar 2008 02:09:08 GMT

I went to Tahoe this past weekend with Kyle and his friends. I was curious to see how the weekend would go because I don't know his friends all too well. Alan and I drove up before everyone else to prepare the house (everyone else had to work). Four hours in a small, confined area with someone you don't know could have been a little awkward, but it wasn't at all! In fact it was the most fun I've ever had driving up to Tahoe. We went to Sonic, which I had never been to. We shared stories, laughs, and even produced some stories of our own (like him cursing my water bottle or me finding a lone beer under his front seat). We arrived to an intense amount of snow at our house, so much so that I decided we should go sledding in the front yard. After a few runs we went to get ample amounts of processed food and to search for an extra shovel. An extra shovel we could not find, but the shoveling must go on so Alan used the shovel and I used a dustpan. While we had no luck shoveling enough snow to park in the driveway we were able to make the coolest whirlpool run for sledding. Seeing as the rest of the group arrived at one in the morning I expected them to want to go to sleep to prepare for snowboarding the next morning, but they arrived ready to get shit faced. Without hesitation we started to play speed quarters, got shitfaced, went sledding, got yelled at and went to bed. The morning came and slowly but surely we stumbled out of bed. Kyle, Dani, and Kevin went snowboarding while Alan, Gabe, and I were determined to find the best sledding hill ever (which we did, kinda instantly). We sled for a few hours then some people from the International Club met up with us to sled and make the coolest snowman ever. The International Club invited us over to their house so we said we would meet up with them later. We showered and when the snowboarding group arrived we started, once again, to play speed quarters. Eventually we made it over to the International house and everyone was sober while we stumbled around. I was too wasted to notice, but apparently it was awkward so we shortly left. Back in the comfort of our alcoholic house we speed quartered it up, again, that game is addictive. As always playing speed quarters with a group of guys you are just asking to get shitfaced/possible alcohol poisoning. I jokingly announced to the group that if they continued to make me drink at such a pace I would blackout, take off my pants, and retreat to beneath the table-AND that shit actually happened. So I don't know what else we did that night, but it was probably fun because I woke up with a lost voice and it still hasn't come back yet. In the morning the boys cooked a huge, real breakfast. We cleaned and they left. Alan and I stayed back awhile watched movies, did a puzzle and ate ice cream. The ride back was equally as fun.